DaveSunderPants

WOD 7-20-2010

2010-07-20T20:01:00.002-06:00

40s Chipper

40 Box Jumps 24"
40 Wall Balls 15/20
40 SDHPs 55/75 KBs
40 Air Squats
40 Burpees
40 Dips
40 Pull Ups
40 Lunges
40 Sit Ups
40 push press 75

Dave 25:19 Rx

Crossfit

2010-07-13T19:45:00.002-06:00

The WOD:
1000m Row
+
21-15-9
Box Jumps 24"
1.5 Pood KB swings
Burpees

16:00

It was good times finishing this workout strong and having my lungs burn as much as they did. Good thing I used my inhaler prior to starting this adventure.

Computers don't make Beeping Noises

2009-01-31T20:44:00.001-07:00

I was watching a movie recently that showed a computer 'thinking'. The preferred method to do this is for the sounds effects crew to come up with annoying beeping sounds that are akin to warning beeps. Coming from the computer world I think it would be better to set people straight. Computers don't make sounds when they are working correctly. They beep or have alert sounds for events that have been set up. Sometimes turning on your computer, you get a sound. You can think to yourself at this point, 'Ah, my computer has let me know it's on.'

If I'm the one listening to the sound I think, 'Crap, who didn't turn off that sound? That's really annoying.' To people in the computer world, computer beeps are the same as a baby crying. There really isn't any difference. It makes a sound, it's letting me know something. If the sound continues, it probably needs something changed. The really funny thing is that if there is smoke (poopy smell), something has really gone wrong. This is cause for more than just one item being replaced. Much like when a baby has a blow out and needs to hit the tub and get a full set of new clothes.

Most large computers are never in the room that you are using to access them. Case and point: You have a big screen/monitor showing analytics or doing some spectacularly nerdy calculation. This computer will be so big and noisy you'd have a hard time focusing because of the noise. It's similar to standing on a runway listening to the jets. Computers have fans that run at very high speeds just like jet engines. They also produce more heat than and space heater, so they need to be in a room that can handle the cooling.

So big computers are like Rosanne Barr singing the national anthem. You want a big room that will chill her to the point of not being able to move, and block all the noises she produces.

What next?

2009-01-31T20:28:00.001-07:00

So we've now seen what free market and the desire to show vast amounts of paper growth has done to the country. I'm bitter that now about 2 trillion dollars is now being shelled out from my government to allow companies to continue which show they are incapable of making good decisions.
I know that we can only hold people accountable for what is law. I'm going to go back to a very old document that many, including myself don't read, or seem to focus on in this sort of times. Here is its preamble:
"We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

The reason for this document is to establish order. This order is created and arranged by elected officials. These officials have given the ability to companies to ignore the goal stated in the preamble of the Constitution. We need to pursue the path of justice that’s been set up. The union of the people is referring to us. We need to be focused together in order to defend ourselves as a nation. The general welfare is up to us as a people, but this has been framed for us through laws and ordinances. It's up to us individually to secure the blessings of our liberty (i.e. freedom) for our own well being, and those who come from us. I think that as we get together in this common goal, we can actually make a difference

My liberty and general welfare is being severely restricted by the movements of very large companies. These companies are still around looking for a means to remain in the game.

As my government has allowed this to happen through loose lending laws, I can see that this self same government will need to take steps to change the frame work. I'm not pleased that so much money is going from my government as an investment into companies that have performed badly. Not only have they performed badly, but after wards, the leaders of these companies (not all of them) have given them selves tens of millions of dollars because they got the government to keep them alive. If you have a poorly performing company in a capitalistic society, they get less business, less investments, etc. As these companies are key to keeping our economy functioning, we are using the Federal Government of the USA to give them a new lease on life.

What they have done in my eyes is treason. They have knowingly acted against the American people with the goal of furthering their paper profit margins. I think it's cruel to allow the leaders of these companies to continue and make their unfathomable fortunes. Is this unconstitutional? Why are we allowing these peoples to continue to be free people in this society?

I know it's an old idea to try someone for treason. I've only seen cases of this in the news where state secrets were given to foreign governments. These Executives from large companies have sold out the American people to bad ways of managing money and investments that have really arrived at the same end result. The USA as a whole has been hurt.

Why can't all of the owners of these companies have assets be taken away? They've made everyone who is already hurting from their mistakes pay for it at this point. Why can't we take everything from them and say, you need to start from zero. They allowed the American people think that zero was an amazing number when that was really the actual value of the assets being evaluated. I know that this may be an extreme view, however, I'm going to be giving to my government to pay for this for years to come. I'm very concerned about the future for my family, not to mention myself. I don't see a way in which the actions that have allowed to get us to this point can be seen as promote[ing] the general welfare. Why can't they be forced from their mansions to general working class? They aren’t worth anything to the business community. Actually they are very detrimental to it.

I think responsibility should be assessed. There needs to be some sort of tally for us to see at least some of the extent of the bad decisions made.
I would like to see those responsible tried as traitors to their country and even in the international community.
I would like to see more oversight for large companies. On the same tune, I would like to see the loopholes closed that allowed companies to get us into this pit.
These are Band-Aids. We need to have the best minds get together and assess the best path forward. I don't think the President, nor the Legislature are qualified. I think we need a basis for moving forward proposed by economists, then voted on by the government.

What is really next for me and mine? I see a long haul where the government is going to pick up the pieces for the next few years. Money markets are going to lag. There is no way to 'simulate' the economy back. Asking for confidence doesn't get you anywhere. We have been hit below the belt. The foul has been called. We'll be stepping forward judiciously, which means not fast.

Sit down and hold on. The ride will be bumpy.

Afterthought:
Where were the strategists in these companies that had any sense while this way going on? I can only speculate they were given the opportunity to comply or move on. Now, I would love to see a resume that said "I was fired from this job because I thought the company was making poor choices."

Dragons live in China

2008-12-20T17:28:00.001-07:00

To all my nieces and nephews out there, this is my first inspirational writing about securing a pet dragon.

... ... ...

Dragons are cool. They are the coolest pets on the planet. When I was young, I wanted one as a pet.

I never asked my mom or dad for one. They thought that a cat was a good pet.

Even now I think that a dragon would be a great pet. I don't think it would fit in my room though.

Dragons live in China. They fly in the skies near the Mongolian border.

Dragons love the country there. They have high mountains where they can play hide-and-go-seek.

They are big animals that love to play rough. One of their favorite games is to play catch with house size rocks.

Since dragons love mountains, you need to live near a mountain in order to make them your pet.

Dragons also love rocks. If you have a mountain near you, it has to be made of rock.

Dragons also love water. They love to swim at night. They don't like oceans because they are just too salty. Lakes or large rivers are the best.

One last thing you need is a big room in the basement of your house. The room needs to have at least one couch. It also needs to have a swing set in it.

Dragons love to play on swing sets.

Now it's time to get your dragon. You need a dad that wears glasses to get you a dragon.

Dads that wear glasses are very tough. These dads are fire proof. They are also strong enough to wrestle dragons.

Dragons come in all shapes and sizes. You have to choose your pet dragon carefully.

Baby dragons are not good pets. They fly around houses and sneeze a lot. Dragons sneeze fire.

Many houses have burned down because someone had a baby dragon in it. No one is sure why baby dragons sneeze.

Your dad will need to go to the dragon store and order a dragon from China. Dragon stores are in Wyoming. The stores sell fireworks and dragons.

Once your dad has ordered the dragon, it takes two weeks to get here from china.

When the dragon gets to the store, your dad will have to pick it up with a big blue truck.

Big blue trucks make dragons calm.

Once you see your dad driving the blue truck home, you will have your pet dragon.

Why Family?

2008-12-20T16:52:00.002-07:00

An interesting thought crossed my mind the other day after Nikki and I had just walked through an exhibit on the body. The day itself leading up to this point had been rather uneventful. As we were walking back to our vehicles I realized that family made my birthday special. I can go out and buy myself things and do so all too often.
Family to me are the people that I share the closest bonds with. Being born sharing the same genetic material doesn't limit my acceptance of any one as part of my family. Heaven only knows I've got enough odd genes floating around me.

Again there wasn't anything extraordinary that stands out in my mind to make this evening anything more than it was. Yes, we went to an exhibit. But it was much more than that. I was able to be with the people I wanted to be with the most at that moment. There were other people around, but that didn't distract from the feeling.

My family is my refuge. The ones I can turn to when I need something, or even better--they can turn to me when they are in need. They are the ones that know me at my worst and think, "Good thing we're related to that one."

In all my aimless rantings and mental wanderings, I want my family to know I appreciate and love you all.

Thank you!

ps-if I get one sappy response to this, that's it. you're out of the family.

Dave's wish list. . .

2008-12-11T09:43:00.002-07:00

I caught myself looking at http://www.harborfreight.com/ and seeing a lot of cool stuffs. Most of these things are between $3 - $10 dollars. Thus the best reason to shop here.

Here are the things I would like:
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=98097 [3/8" thumb driver]
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=97336 TUNGSTEN CARBIDE TIPPED SCRIBING PEN
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=93958 7 Piece Pick and Hook Set
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=93514 6 Piece Pick Set
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=65170 [3/8" Drive Pry Bar Head]
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=3816 6 Piece Wood Chisel Set
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=97217 2" MIRROR WITH FLEXIBLE SHAFT
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=7361 TELESCOPING MIRROR
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=38392 5 Lb. Telescoping Magnetic Pickup Tool
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=37188 2 Piece Magnetic Pickup Tool Set
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=4885 12 Piece Punch and Chisel Set
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=97962 EZ Wood Cutting Saw
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=92226 Wall Mounted Storage Bin System
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=95599 V-GOUGE
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=319 HELPING HANDS
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=96124 7 Piece Tweezer Set
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=5932 Magnetizer Demagnetizer
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=94640 1/2" DRIVE STUD EXTRACTOR
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=99767 4 Piece "Skull" Valve Cap Set

Here are the things that I truly need, but I can't find a use for yet:
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=98726 100 Lb. Capacity Handle Magnet
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=98447 80 Lb. Capacity Retrieval Magnet
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=94349 5 LB. WOOD WEDGE

Here are the items that are absolutely vital when I get a garage:
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=38963 10'' x 2-1/2'' SOLID RUBBER TIRE
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/Displayitem.taf?itemnumber=98797 12x Pirate Telescope
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=97445 PORTABLE SAWMILL WITH CARRIAGE
http://www.harborfreight.com/cpi/ctaf/displayitem.taf?Itemnumber=192 Reconditioned 20 KW Generator

Christmas. . . . .Again

2008-12-10T20:46:00.001-07:00

Christmas time has come for the 4th time since being married and well, we decided (we meaning Nikki) that I needed to write something to let people know we are alive. This year seemed to start off rather well. Banks were making bad loans with a smile. The housing and financial markets were lying to the country and inflating numbers and people were deciding to go with the flow. Nikki and I sat back and thought, ‘Wow, glad we got in our house before the inflation rate struck.’ Then the summer struck with Becca and Boe deciding to hold large events to get gifts. Congrats on your present hauls!

During the summer I found out that it does indeed cost over $100 to fill up our big vehicle’s gas tank. Isn’t inflation grand? Now we are in the winter months when it seems that most people like to get depressed. I commend the masses on their movement towards depression and will add the economy supports them in this endeavor.

As the economy was melting down, we finally went through about 2/3rds of our boxes that we had left stuff in when we moved in a little over 2 years ago. There is nothing quite as fun as going through random boxes thinking ‘Do you think she’ll notice if I just throw this out?’ There was also the closet door in the spare bedroom that wasn’t shutting quite right that I got around to looking at. I’m going to say that a bigger hammer, an impact driver, 3” wood screws, a screw driver, and a few muffled words really did the trick. I’m still at a loss as to how that hinge turned itself upside down.

Nikki thought it would be a good present to send her best friend to a cake decorating class and attend it as well. All you men out there! If your wife asks to do this, just give her the credit card and a kiss, then sit back and smile. She has to make cakes and goodies to decorate for the class. Wow, that gift just keeps on giving. I have to give it to Nikki, she knows how to make cakes look spectacular and taste even better.

Nikki has also used her skills at Indian food cooking to amaze and tickle the taste buds of those fortunate enough to eat all the odd sounding dishes. I know the process can be time consuming to cook it, but wow does it taste good. Again let me reiterate to the men out there. If your wife asks to take a cooking class, just hand over the card or better yet call up the people and register for her. I’m batting a 1000 right now for reaping the benefits.

I have had the pleasure of taking a new position at work and now I manage all the people that are extremely unhappy with my company. This has been a challenge and a lot of fun. It’s similar to being an emergency room doctor. They really don’t get any worse than when they reach me. So I get to save face for the company and change opinions. I also get to work from home whenever I want. There is nothing nicer than sitting in your PJs and big fluffy slippers talking to senior management of XYZ company. I really appreciate the opportunity of working from home, or where ever there’s an internet connection.

As I continue to jump to new topics without the slightest bit of transition, you may proceed to the edges of your seats in anticipation.

As different holidays and events have come and gone, we’ve had the (mis)fortune of spending them with family. I have to admit that it’s been great to see so[too] much of the family. This is an excellent way for all of us show off my character flaws. In a time when everyone is blaming other people for the problems they are facing, it’s great to be able to sit back with those who know us best and enjoy their company. The stories that define us come out in abundance. The smiles and laughter inevitably follow.

Thanks for the fun. Thank you all even more for the great memories. Thanks most of all for your love.

Dave and Nikki.

You're going to Hell

2008-10-10T21:42:00.001-06:00

In kindergarten I was taught a lot of things that are still relevant for me and my 31 years of life. Don't push anyone who's getting a drink at a drinking fountain. When you are playing and get mad, don't hit or push. When you are mad, don't call the other person names. Don't call people names in general it's just not nice.

The political arena has been heating up and the candidates are now at the point of throwing flaming bags of pooh at each other. One side started, and seems to be throwing more than the other. It’s become a childish game. Are we as voters really dumb enough to think that a flaming bag of pooh flying through the air is something worthy of my attention? Unfortunately yes. Am I one to be swayed by this tactic? No.

I like to look for sources if I’m going to try and state something as ‘true’. Give me facts and I can make my own decision. If I have to search for the facts that are turned in to poop and thrown, I’m not going to be happy about this. If you’ve left me a flaming bag of pooh as something ‘informative’ you’ve just decided to place a bush in front of me and the truth .

The election campaigns are in full swing. The pooh is in the air.

Now on the more personal side, the campaign has turned into a moral dilemma. This is the best part of an election for me. One candidate is the moral choice. Because I haven’t said which part, you probably have the only moral candidate in your mind at this point. I do as well.

I’m getting inundated with a lot of pooh posing as ‘information’. There are commercials that are giving the regular tv viewing public an audio visual sampling of this as well. The newer method is now sending this via e-mail.

Children, stop pushing in line. Stop calling names. The biggest request I have is to stop saying mean things. If it’s true, it’s true. Give me the full message that’s evil, but make sure it’s in the correct context. I will make a different choice than some of you. I don’t feel I need to repent for this.

295

2008-09-30T11:59:00.002-06:00

This morning I was tired. My body said, "you're awake." However, my mind retorted with the fact "You're bed loves you and you need to stay." I decided that my mind had to go.

Being later in the day, I'm now thinking about the events of the morning. The battle has begun. The thought came to mind, were you happy with your gym experience? I'm still mulling that one over. The other thought came - Were you successful at the gym? To this I have to say yes. My mind is helping with this battle as it's returning from where ever it goes when it loses the morning argument.

Here are a two thoughts that are key to this battle:
I like to go to the gym.
The overall experience at the gym isn't always pleasant.

Some time ago I could go to the gym and do the same exercises I did today and lift more weight, and feel unsuccessful. Sometimes I think I could have had one more repetition. Other times I think, why did he pull the weight off me? It was still moving in the correct direction. (Spotters can be retarded at times)

Today I was able to move 295 lbs. I haven't tried that much weight in about a year. I think. I don't feel sore. I do have a little muscle fatigue. So in the sense that I was able to move the weight and get it back on the support posts, there is a resounding success. There is also the little voice in my head that says, yeah, but you have lifted more. Why does the little dude in my head have to talk like this?

To argue that is was a success, I just need to look at the timeframe. It's really amusing when I look at how long it's taken to get to the point of consistently lifting this much weight. That number of years would be 27 or 28. It's taken me 6 weeks to be able to lift this weight from a multi-month break. So, moving 295 lbs that didn't need to be moved was a good success.

Maybe I'll start toting cars around for my next success.

Uncomfortably Numb

2008-09-24T19:06:00.004-06:00

Stitches are the coolest thing ever. They keep my pants from coming apart when they are properly placed by the people in China, Vietnam and the Philippians who seem to make most of my clothes. They are the best when they are holding skin together.

How cool is that when 'Nikki stabbed Dave' (-to quote my niece) and I needed to got to the ER and pay $300+ for 4 simple stitches? I think I rather pay the nameless person who sewed my pants together. To follow with the thought of getting my skin flaps sewn back together, I am favorable to the idea of anesthetics.

There is a popular song titled "Comfortably Numb". This is the state of mind I'm preferable to for things like stitches and dental fillings. With the afore mentioned stabbing, I was numbed up and left to sit joking with Nikki. After a short 15 minutes, the doctor came in and put in the stitches. I would like to emphasize the point that the anesthetic had completely worn off by the 10th minute of my wait, and as I watched the needle being pushed through my skin I noticed pain. I really wanted to get home and eat dinner, so I just watched the pain. I don't like my fingers to throb.

There was a period in my life where I was consistently in this state of being-uncomfortably numb that is. Feeling anything was something I wanted to avoid. Physical pain is preferable most times to those other pains that persist. There have been a few people that can look at me and see what's really gone on. It's a specialty of mine to put up a smokescreen. I can spread the smoke in a lot of different ways. I've worked at it.

Anyone can put up a smoke screen. Most people can see these screens. Some people can actually see through the smoke. I love those people the most that can see the smoke, then see through it, and then walk through it and get to me because they love me. I also love those who walk up to the smoke and ask me why I'm putting it out there. My friends do both.

In a recent outing, Nikki and I were testing the durability of the tires on our SUV with a friend. Our conversation went many places none of which were surprising, but as always they were very enlightening. There was no smoke to move through. Towards the end the statement was put out there friends 'heaven knows I have precious few'. I have also said this many times. It's still just as true. Those precious few that get through the smoke and want nothing but the best for me.

What happens when a true friend asks you the awesome question: Are you an idiot? I was in an uncomfortably numb point in my life and I was asked this question. I thought I'd been stabbed in the heart. I was wrong; I had been hit up side the head with love and it hurt. It was the only thing that would cut through my smoke screen. I don't remember the exact date of when my friend asked me this question, but I can tell you it was in August of 2002. August seems to be the time where I've made some of my most life changing decisions.

Uncomfortably numb doesn't work for me and I've yet to find a friend who it works on.

(Note: Nikki didn't 'stab' Dave. This was misunderstood. I cut myself cleaning a knife)

As Requested: A public airing

2008-09-21T22:14:00.002-06:00

Here it comes. . . . .sit down and proceed to the edge of your seat. Take notes. My phone is open for complaints after 5pm MST but I probably won't answer-because I just don't like any of you.

No more reunions.

This is about my 25,623rd revision of this, so having noted that there have been multiple attempts to put my thoughts into words this is still an attempt. I'm not going to try and be inflammatory (I think it's in my nature so I'll let nature take it's course) and I'm not going to point fingers cause this is an e-mail. So I'll name names.

The cabin is a great place for a gathering, but is limited in resources for a longer period. I don't see it as a good option for 25 people. The logistics just don't hold up.

Side note-
At this point I'm just going to mention I really don't like Shaun. I don't think I could handle more than a couple of hours being in the same room/cabin with him. Selena you're in the same canoe as Shaun, because it was your misfortune of marrying him. Randy, I don't like you either. Heidi. . . .I still like you.

I can appreciate the thought of using the cabin as a location because it's close to the 2 families with 75% of the grandchildren, but it's not what I would call a desirable location for a multiple day vacation. I'd rather we go somewhere that I don't have to worry about the single bathroom being occupied when I need a good 20 minutes alone time with it. A vacation where the logistics don't allow me to be comfortable is one that I'm not going repeat. I'm a child of the capitalistic system.

Here's a thought for a time to be at the cabin:
Have Thanksgiving at the cabin. It's just about perfect for that type of event. We can all get together there and have food and it's a time of year that we don't have to worry about people getting the day off work (for the most part).

PTO problem:
All of us (other than Dad - Merrill) have to be concerned about how much time we can actually spend away from work. Randy is now a big time manager, so he probably get's a couple of months PTO as well.

Too Many Reunions:
With limited PTO I'll choose one reunion over another. Other than Laurie we all have Spouse's families which meet as well. If I've seen everyone in a single year, I won't make attending a yearly reunion a priority.

Shaun and his "I'm so high and mighty 4900sq ft house":
If we get together within about 50 miles of Shaun and Selena's house, there is a law that states we'll all end up at their house. Since, Sally has a new kitchen the odds have been increased by 1,345,102, fold that everyone will end up there to see a kitchen they could only dream about. Even if everyone else stocked their food storage and clean his house, it's not fair to put this responsibility on them. They are too nice to tell everyone that it's a burden to have the nicest kitchen and biggest house. If Shaun cracks because of all the burden. . . .I'm just going to say that he's a fantastic shot.

Suggestions:
* Possibly have the reunion to every other year
* Discuss locations that will accommodate 25 people
* Discuss what everyone thinks would be a reasonable amount of time to spend together. I like a Wednesday on, but I'm not likely to attend every year.

Question:
* What are we going to do for the other 2.95 days after we get bored of saying hi?

Disorganized thoughts:
Every year we've gone to a reunion I've been glad they were just a couple of days. You get enough time to catch up and then get sick of everyone. I'm speaking of relatives of course and not immediate family- I can get sick of family just walking into a room with them in there. For me a reunion has always been mom and dad dragging to meet people they've met before and they get to talk. The kids generally try to amuse themselves and then proceed to break things of value. There also comes the pain of sitting through meetings. Meet for this. Talk about that. I don't have specifics at this point, but I know I sat through them. My brain's defense mechanism is to turn off in order to cope. More recently I've arrived reunions and never spent the entire allotted time. I get my fill of everyone, decide whose house I'd rather be at, and then spend my time with that chosen person.
I guess it could be worse. I could have to hold Shaun's hand and act like I'm paying attention and have Heidi punch me during a prayer.(I was crying I was so emotional at that point)

What would happen if we picked a place for the reunion that wasn't the cabin? Yellowstone?
We set up camp, and have a world of activities to do there and can take everyone with, or let people stay in a tent or trailer if their hoity toity enough to own one. I'm not going to name Randy's name or anything. The only problem with Yellowstone is dropping kids in boiling water. Personally I'd super glue them to baby packs and go nuts hiking around

Lake Powell is also a place we could end up at. I know someone who can legally pilot a boat and might be agreeable to that. We'd have to pitch in to get a boat or steal one. Either way I think we could find a solution.

If I've said it and you thought it. It's time for you to say it as well.

Here's the 2 sentence recap-
I like the reunion idea, but don't want it to happen at the cabin. I think getting together is important, but too much of anything is toxic (Like Marc).

The phone lines are now open.

Family. . . . .Do we have to be related?

2008-09-21T21:56:00.002-06:00

So in my infinite wisdom and learning, I decided to put away my harsh feelings for my immediate family that lives so near to try and spend some time before we were forced into a family reunion. I think Heidi put this shindig together because she called to extend the invite. It is noteworthy to mention at this point that I was invited as an after thought. I know by the awkward feeling of the call that it was done because she was under the impression that I would have heard about it later and would have been inconsiderate enough to write about it.

Heidi, I know it was an attempt, but I no longer like you. This is to the contrary of what I have already written, but things have changed. You are now a little uppity and it's become awkward.

The day began as any BYU game day with a lot of traffic. Nikki and I hopped in the car and headed down to the meeting place. We tried to make it a little early but were 15 minutes late because I needed to do my hair.

We were going to head between Cascade Mountain and the other mountains in front of it to enjoy the fall colors. This was a great plan. Nikki and I made a similar drive the day previous and had a grand time. Our buddy Matt joined the previous trip and we discussed lots of topics that will be hinted at in further blogs.
After eating some truly great food, the boys (3 husbands) needed to get a feel for Randy's new toy. It is truly cool to see what happens when a high power projectile has it's way with a pumpkin. All I can say it, we are pretty good marksmen. We were shown the correct way to hold a pistol in each hand and shoot. I've seen the Tomb Raider movies. Laura Croft the main character is stunningly accurate shooting 2 pistols at the same time. If someone is aiming two pistols at me and I can move even slightly, I'm confident that I will not be hit. I tried to shoot this way, and it's the best way to waste ammo and not have a chance at hitting a target.
So after the display of testosterone was complete we got back to the house and started the loading process. We got 3 families in 2 SUVees. This was quite a remarkable feat.

The trip started and we were aiming for AF canyon and were headed to Cascade Springs. For those of you trying to draw a similarity between Cascade Springs and Cascade Mountain, don't. They aren't related.
Look at the following link:
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/865027

This shows our progress from the freeway off ramp to Cascade Springs. Make sure to zoom in and look at the corner of the 90 degree angle our trip takes. It looks clean, but the need to all children to see what an outhouse looks like overcame everyone under 10. There was a problem with this stop. When little girls aren't use to not having a dedicated place to go, the potential for problems increases greatly. When their uncle is driving the car they (the little girls - aka The Nieces) are traveling in, this potential becomes more of a sure thing. We got through the ordeal, and only one set of pants was much more moist than it needed to be, but we'll call that a success anyway.

After 15 miles of winding road, we ended up at the Cascade Springs. This is the best place to allow children to fall into water that I'm aware of. Yellowstone National Park is a good place as well, but the acrid smell of sulphur (among other things) generally acts as a deterrent. Cascade Springs has about 1/8 mile of boardwalks with no railing. I see this as a good thing. People are more pleasant and don't try to shuffle around you. I guess it's because they don't way to play chicken to see who's going to end up in the drink. The boardwalks are just fun to walk on to look at the water flowing over the exposed bedrock. All the kids started to watch the fish and were fascinated, as were the husbands. Here is a link at all the walking we did:
http://connect.garmin.com/activity/865028

The day was overcast and there were a few drips. In other words, it was the perfect time to be out. The leaves on the trees were turning into that fall kaleidoscope that stays for only a few fleeting days at its peak beauty. The kids were having a ball, and as we walked along directing kids to hold onto each other it was quite a relief to see them follow the instructions and have such a good time.

This wandering was a lot of fun. Having the youngest girl of the group on my shoulders for a lot of it was rather enjoyable as well. She got to see everything and didn't get the option of exploring the water hazards. Plus she still has no fear riding up there and loves being jumped and jostled around. I'll have to see if I can't help her accelerate the growth and appreciation of her adrenaline glands. Her older brothers both have healthy adrenaline glands. Sniff. . . . . .I'm so proud of them.

During our wanderings my favorite moment was when we took over a spot where people were taking pictures. I don't know if we asked to dislodge them, but there were definitely more of us than them, and I thinks it's safe to bet we were much more heavily armed. The two ladies were taking pictures on a set of rock steps and well, we moved in. Ten minutes later, we vacated the scene sans any problems or retort from them. I love my family.

After we got back to the cars it was a little later. We decided our best bet was to get the kids fed. So we ended up at the Dairy Keen. If you don't know what this place is, you need to rectify this problem immediately. Call me. I'll give you the coordinates or map quest it from you location. If you need to fly in from another country, that would be one of the best decisions you've ever made. It's that good.
This food location is the best mom and pop's burger fast food joints on the planet. If you want to dispute this, I'll tell you right now you're wrong. We ate and had some good times there. The kids played on the train outside, a cloudburst stopped their fun, and we finished eating as the rain finished up.
What a great day.

We headed back to the starting location. Holy cats was that a good time. Shaun, Selena and Randy, I may have to move you up the ladder to mildly unacceptable company as oppose to disliked. I'll have to mull this over. I still like your kids though.

Titi Monkeys

2008-09-12T14:50:00.004-06:00

If you aren’t aware of an animal called a Titi monkey, you should go to your local zoo and see them. They are cute little primates that are playful and fun to watch. Children seem to be fascinated by them. Specifically, my brother’s kids loved to watch them as we walked through that part of the zoo.

For those of you who know me, the following should be the most obvious course of events the world has ever seen. I had a young one on my shoulders. This young one is very impressionable I’m told. Everyone with children tell me they are very impressionable. One time I was at the zoo with more of these little impressionables and I related the fact that dragon’s come from China, and their uncle who was in China should bring them back one. There were more than a couple requests of this uncle to get them a pet dragon. Unfortunately, they were told dragons do not exist. I’m going to rent a Komodo Dragon in the near future and let them see it just to prove this statement wrong.

So, back to the monkeys. I don’t think I’ve paid any attention to the name of the monkeys previously, but for some reason that day I did. I’m not always aware of the volume of my voice, and this was an occasion that my voice was apparently booming. I miss read the name of the monkeys. I had a little impressionable boy with me that decided it was a funny named monkey. Then following suit, a little 1 ½ year old impressionable said the same thing. I should be banned from public functions that put such temptations in front of me. I was laughing up until I saw the look on their mother’s face. She didn’t share the same enthusiasm for the name that I did.

I tried to pull it together. I was told that I was going to be banned from playing with the kids ever again with a single look. I’m sorry, but it was still funny. I know that the kids don’t need to get this education from me at this point in life, that’s what Junior High or Middle School locker rooms are for.

Men here's a word to the wise, don’t mess with the monkey’s name. You may just end up with a howling monkey yelling hotly at the males.

I hate my job!

2008-09-12T14:21:00.000-06:00

I’ve heard that statement often enough that I’ve decided I need to address it. I understand that for the most part people get jobs to get money. When you have a little money you see the credit card commercials. You are shown that some things money can’t buy, but you should over extend yourself trying to feel like you can buy it all.

Once you realize that your spending is outpacing your income like a jet outpaces a glacial flow, the inevitable statement seems to arise: “I hate my job.”

There is another take to this statement. You work a job that you don’t really like and you see that one person(or friend) here or there that really enjoys what they do, and you hate them for it. So you’ve decided that your job is the problem. Good for you for identifying the problem in your life. I’m glad you’ve been able to pinpoint the general reason for your dissatisfaction.

Since I’m not a woman, I like to help fix a situation when someone complains. My wife has told me on many occasions that she just wants to tell me something and doesn’t want me to help fix it. This is one job I fail at, but I’m learning that I need to zone out for these conversations so that at the end I can say. I totally agree. Good for you. And I come off the hero cause I ‘listened’. I digress.

Since you hate your job, get a new one. This will solve the problem immediately. You are no longer fettered by the doldrums at your previous place of employment, and you can get on with something you can enjoy. If you can’t see where I’m going with this, you should jump out of a plane at 10,000 ft sans parachute. The end result should be about as obvious as the ground moving towards you and terminal velocity. So what happens at your new job? Oh, you hate that one too?

-crashing to earth-

I find that most people don’t love their jobs. Unless you are lacking enough morals to exploit the US welfare system (and I’m told this is easy to do), you want to earn a living on your own. My dad told me the old axiom of ‘The bad will outnumber the good, but the good with far outweigh the bad’. If this is true in a job, then get your shovel and start digging in the poop. Start spreading the love around and get use to it.

There is one other point of you hating your job. If you’ve had more than one job that you hated, the thing that’s stayed the same between the 2 job is you. You are the part of the job that didn’t change. So you being a part of your job and being the only truly consistent thing between the 2. Look in the mirror and tell yourself I hate my job. Let this ruminate.

I hate your job to!

Mud

2008-09-12T13:59:00.001-06:00

This is the substance that 4 wheel drive vehicles yearn to play in. You may ask how a machine can yearn for anything-this is a valid question. I don’t know that I can truly analyze the mind in the machine, but I can prove that they do.

Put me behind the wheel of my all wheel drive vehicle. Every time my vehicle get’s near any mud, it aims directly for it. I’ve had my alignment and tracking checked. My vehicle drives in a straight line when I let go of the steering wheel. The weirdest thing happens when mud is anywhere near the vehicle. The machine aims directly for it. This is a consistent action when mud is around.

My speculation is that the air intake has some sensor that can ‘smell’ it. The other possibility is that the tires are making a bid for freedom and see mud and their chance. This may be the real reason. Tires are confined to one direction for normal transport. When they go the wrong direct they are punished by the brakes. When mud is involved they can move in their own way and sideways is a good and often use direction of travel. This actually may be a conspiracy of the tire companies. I’ll have to look into this. One other possibility is that mud is a black hole that has burned out. So it doesn’t eat light and anything around it, it only pulls vehicles towards it. I’ll have to put this theory past a panel of physicists and see what the consensus is.
Mud and 4 wheel drive vehicles are strange strange things when in close proximity. As a random side note, I found that my air filter was completely clogged with mud when I cleaned it last night. Mud may actually be like cocaine to 4 wheel drive vehicles. That strange earthy rotting smell causes strange things to happen.

The Moon Landing NEVER Happened

2008-09-12T13:43:00.001-06:00

A popular show explored the premise that the moon landings were never faked. They ended up showing that it’s rather simple to approach this with a moderate budget and NASA’s help. The result is the Mythbusters ® say that the reasons the ‘conspiracy theorists’ surmise the landing was faked seem to be faulty.

A friend (Fat Teddy) and I decided to get some food one day. They place was a sea food house approx 900 miles from the nearest location to harvest fresh seafood. The best part about this restaurant is the huge shark hanging from the ceiling. We tried to come up with a way to get it out of without being seen, but that wasn’t happening. So we did the next best thing, we decided to take opposing viewpoints on varying subjects, then randomly swap our stance.

The brilliant thing about such nonsense is that you see why Seinfeld was such a popular show for those people that don’t have the capacity to actually go through the process. Disclaimer: I do enjoy an episode of Seinfeld about once a year or two.
As we started the ordering food and eating process, the conversation erupted, much like a volcano. The focus was one subject, we twisted and turned all directions on that one and when the lava hit the sea and froze, we’d start again with a new flow.

The moon landing never did happen, much like the earth is flat. The great thing about these arguments is that if you may be able to convince people of your point. For those functioning members of society that don’t require daily help, generally this is a driving force of laugher. Apparently our server was in the functioning boat, because she seemed to come over more to see where our conversation had degraded to and as an afterthought asked how we were. Regardless of her reason, the service was well above what I had previously encountered.

The moon landing never happened. With some simple props, a little computer action, and a budget that most first time writer/directors would be jealous of, you can pull off your own fake moon landing. The real problem is that they didn’t explore the real dilemma’s of the moon landing. Did the astronauts run naked around the lunar lander to inaugurate the moon with their moon? When the astronauts go sick, where are the pictures of the mess on the inside of their bubble head suit? Where are the pictures of the ‘new’ guy on the crew having shaving cream floated in front of his face and then tickling his nose?

The biggest reason I think the moon landing was faked is the fact that the astronauts were all men and men do stupid things when given the opportunity. I know that someone made a camp potty on the moon. What would be cooler than seeing something fall slowly to the ground that would really mark the moon as yours? If you don’t know what I’m talking about you haven’t ever had a true camping experience.

In closing, the moon landing never happened. NASA has kept this a major secret and truly proven this by specifically not showing what really happened up there. Men do awesome things when put in close proximity to each other that women don’t understand. Just to be clear, such ‘manly’ activities need to be done. Men need to undertake such endeavors to prove their king of the planet status.

Getting Lucky!

2008-06-02T15:47:00.001-06:00

I know what you're thinking and you're right. Whatever it is you're thinking that is. Well, except for what this post’s title really stands for. All my life I’ve tried to do the wrong thing. I’ve done exceptionally well in this endeavor.

I’ve put myself in the wrong place at the wrong time and in the wrong place at the right time. The results were much the same to be truthful. I even went as far as putting myself in the wrong place at just a point in time. I really do spice up my life with timing.

Well, at some point in my life I put myself in the right place at the wrong Dave time. This happened more often than I would like to have admitted before getting married. The right place was meeting my wife. The wrong Dave time was me. I had finally met a woman that I was so nervous that I wasn’t myself when with her.

Then I got lucky. Whoooo weeeee did I ever! We were talking on the phone and I said she was different in person than chatting on the phone. She pulled out the ole stand by bazooka comment ‘it’s you not me’. I passed that notion through the ole grey matter and decided that if this relationship was to go anywhere she was going to have to be right. So much like a sliver under the skin the gray matter pushed out the answer that she was right.

That was the correct answer. I got lucky. I reiterate-I got very lucky.

So now I need to focus on 2 dates in my life. If I can remember those 2 dates the rest of my life will be easy. Those dates are Nikki’s birthday; she doesn’t get older-she just marks a yearly season of festivities around this date, and our anniversary.

This year I decided to surprise her. I bought her a . . . . well, seeing how she reads this on a fairly regular basis I’ll go with I bought her a something. This something is cool. It has more than one part. The problem is that the something hasn’t arrived yet. I’m hoping that it will arrive before I need to make it a belated b-day present/anniversary gift.

I got lucky, so now I have to remember more things. Odd how that plays out.

Seasons of Birth

2008-05-09T07:12:00.002-06:00

Seasons of Birth

You're only born once. It’s a biological process that's dangerous to both the mother and the child. You can get various facts about the process from books and magazines, but rather than waste time with these I’ll provide you with some of my own.

Children are ugly as they are being born and moments after being born. This doesn’t detract from the bond of love between parent and child, but it should be a better deterrent for those who want pictures or video of the process.

When you are born the persons that take the most note of the occasion are parents, or just the mother depending on the situation. It’s one of those hard to miss events for the mother.

Why do we celebrate the occasion of when you are the most vulnerable and naked? Because there has been some great commercialization and merchandising so businesses can profit.

Do women really like to be reminded of their age? Take a moment and ruminate on that little gem of wisdom there.

Do men care at all about their age? I’ll take the ball and run on this point. . . . No, not really, but the presents are absolutely desired. You want to come and celebrate my birth? Awesome, you’re invited! The one caveat is that you must bring a present and eat less of the party food than your present is worth.

Everyone has one birthday. (I’m trying to get this number upped for myself, but can’t see a good legal argument at this point to get the ball rolling.) Each anniversary of said birth is now deemed to be a celebration.

What’s the real point that I’m trying to get at with this post you might ask? Well, summarize at this point, send me an e-mail, and I’ll tell you you’re wrong. I might even post your e-mail with my ridicule, who knows?

Anyway, you’ve been born. And because of this occasion or mistake as some choose to label it, people need to celebrate this by buying you things of which only some have use.

What happens when friends or siblings get the date wrong? What happens if friends, family, or heaven forbid a spouse forget the date? Is there a standard for such actions? Now there is. Strap into your chair because we’re going into what I like to call the Dave Standard. If you continue reading this post you will now be obligated to follow this standard.

If you forget a birthday:

If you’re a guy claim you forgot. If you didn’t want to buy a present, claim that the person was important enough to remember and that should end your relationship with them at that point. Problem solved. No future dilemma. The problem is if you really honestly forgot and you wanted to get a present. If it’s a guy friend, unless they have some odd tendencies you can say you forgot and give the present at any time, give or take 9 months. We’re not picky. Simply handing $100 (or more) is an acceptable solution as well.

If you’re a lady. Wow, these are murky waters. Women discuss things. They talk about feelings. I’m more attune to talking about what gave me gas or upset my stomach by way of food. Well, I guess it’s time everyone got the Dave Standard then. Women, if you forget a birthday, blame it on your husband or man friend. Whew, problem solved. See the previous paragraph for how to deal with the problem at this point.

Now the biggest problem of them all is if you’re a guy and you forgot a lady’s birthday and she’s A-your wife, B-your sister, C-your girlfriend, D-someone else who you need to get a gift for.

*A-Your wife she should be use to the drill and realize that she just needs to borrow the credit card and use the credit limit.

*B-Your sister should know by now that you forget and you need to send her a present as though you had it, and a ‘make up’ present because you missed the date. This usually can be solved by handing $100 or more to her as well.

*C-If you don’t want to continue a relationship with a girlfriend, this is a fantastic way of ending it. Claim you didn’t care enough to get one, and the rest should take care of itself. You may want to get some prescription strength pain killer depending on your proximity to said woman at the time of the conversation. If you can’t walk or breath well after said conversation, make sure your cell phone is handy. 9-1-1 is only 3 digits away.

*D-The other person. See the previous 3 options and decide which one would be suitable.

The last problem is if someone gets a birth date wrong. You get a ‘Happy Birthday’ but it’s not your birthday. This shows intent and it’s nice, but the merchandising part of the event is avoided. If the date is hit, then the presents can be forgone, sometimes. However, if you are wishing someone a happy birthday from a foreign country and said birthee is your sister, you have to get the date right.

For example: Say you are in Bahrain and serving an Armed Forces stint. You desire to wish your sister a happy birthday and like a poorly placed bomb you miss. Exactly the same thing happens. A big hole is made and everyone wonders what on this green earth just happened. This is one of those highly visible screw ups that have to be dealt with in the prescribed way. This is how the world constitution dictates this event is to be handled.

Proper procedure is:

Buy an expensive present from the country you are in and send it to said sister.
Figure out what the real date is, buy a second more expensive present, and send it to said sister.
Claim the time zones difference threw off your senses if asked.
When you return to the country you better have an even bigger and more expensive gift for said sister.
If your faux pas ever comes to light, pray your brother-in-law doesn’t hear about it.

Here’s a smaller version for your wallet:

- - - -Cut here for a wallet reference guide- - - -

Proper procedure is:
1- Buy an expensive present from the country you
are in and send it to said sister.
2-Figure out what the real date is, buy a second
more expensive present, and send it to said sister.
3- Claim the time zones difference threw off your
senses if asked.
4- When you return to the country you better have
an even bigger and more expensive gift for said sister.
5- If your faux pas ever comes to light-pray your
brother-in-law doesn’t hear about it.

- - - -Cut here for a wallet reverence guide- - - -

Hope this clears up the confusion on this subject. If situations arise in which you may need guidance, please ask for help. I’ll be your guiding light in matters of the Seasons of Birth. I have arrived at guru status for these events.

SUVeees

2008-05-08T11:29:00.001-06:00

The Rub:
As an American, I need to be able to purchase things of which I'll have not practical use. SUVees fit this description for most/if not all people other than myself. I believe that some scientific research will back up my claim that 99.999% of the people in my state should not own an SUV.
This claim is backed by Article 3 Section 1 Line 1 of Dave's rules. I think that violation of the 311 deserves much public abuse and ridicule by me.
Case File:
I was driving through a shopping complex and decided to take an entrance to a park my large vehicle. A driver of a similar size vehicle of mine decided to take the opportunity to use the entire entrance for her parking spot. I had to run into her, run over the embankment on the side, or find another entrance. I was really hoping my wife would agree with the first option, but she let me know that the last was really the only 'real' option.
Observation: Something needs to happen to such people. I'm voting to put in a bill of punishments to my Dave's rules that mandates such people have their nose hairs plucked individually for an allotted time determined by me at the spot of the foul.
Another Case:
Driving to lunch, I was trying to keep my vehicle from being hit as the lady in the car next to me was applying makeup. She decided that her SUV was fine to drive itself and like a male animal it was making the moves on my car. I used copious amounts of the horn to express my decline of the advance. She then gave me a dirty look and used her hands for driving. I was about to use my hand for something else, and realized that I shouldn't throw objects while driving.
Observation: Again, a punishment needs to be applied to such people. For this one, I think a latex mask of Michael Jackson needs to be glued to her head for an allotted time determined by me.
My Jerry Springer Summation and Thought :
When you drive a large gas sucking vehicle, you're damaging the environment. I'm not going to debate the level of damage, but it's there. Why do you need to place additional stress and possible damage to people and property around you? Isn't it bad enough to kill the obscure animals that you've probably never heard of? It's really too bad that the side effects of pollution aren't a decrease in the annoying animals and bugs.
If you're irresponsible enough to drive a big vehicle, you need to be responsible enough to drive it correctly. Car lanes are meant for individual cars. Think of your lane as your bathroom stall. If you’re using it correctly you don’t share. Certain political figures (ex: Sen Craig) decided to ‘share’ the lane by placing a foot under the partition. He was arrested. Keep your feet and tires to yourself. What happens in your garage can stay in your garage, but if you try to tire touch solicit me->Michael Jackson mask super glued to you.

The Stain. . . . .(revised)

2008-04-29T09:13:00.000-06:00

Have you ever ventured into uncharted territory and thought 'this isn't that bad'? As kids Shaun and I would do this on a regular basis. Most of the time would have a great adventure and then end up back at home safe and sound.

One such time Shaun and I ventured to a new and hither to uncharted territory that seemed like a good time. This place was called Witches Rock, or that at least what we called it. We wandered in, on, and around the entire place (if I forgot some prepositions, add the ones you think I needed). My body let me know that a need was arising, and we hadn't thought of bringing toilet paper. Knowing that leaves work in many instances, I quickly found a stash of leaves on some brush and then proceeded to 'take care of business' as it were.

Now if you're reading this and thinking Dave has really gone down the wrong path in describing this post with a horribly undignified title. You're right. Stop reading and save yourself.

--That was your official warning. I’m now pulling all the punches.

So the 'business' was started and taken care of, but the uncharted territory was the plant used. The plant in this story was poison oak. So for the next few weeks my uncharted territory was exceptionally irritated. This wasn't a pleasant experience. I personally blame Shaun for all of this. The reason I blame Shaun for this is simply that he was there. He's 18 months my junior, but being about 9 or 10 at the time he should have known.

Fast forward to 2 weeks ago.
Nikki and I have some furniture in our home that in hindsight needed no improvement. We had discussed the potential for this furniture to become so much more than it currently was. I was starting that grim trek into territory unknown and yet again Shaun didn't help me with at least the small semblance of a warning. I decided it was time for him to redeem himself because our last trek ended in some much pain and agony for me. Actually, Nikki decided he needed to do this and I was along for the ride. We went to the local home improvement store where we should have just looked at tools and decided it was an afternoon well spent, but I was lead to the aisle of stain. This isn't a glorious place, but there is a certain aire (i.e. - error) of potential beauty that is conjured in the mind’s eye.

Shaun lead through the unknown territory of stain. We discussed what would be the simplest manner of getting the job done. I got home and put a little stain on the furniture. It was stinky and too light so Nikki and decided multiple coats would be necessary.
We started the job and found that 6 hours was needed between coats. So 2 or 3 could be applied in a given day, and the evenings were spent enjoying the noxious fumes that so effectively permeated the room.

A couple of days ago we needed more stain to finish the job. Nikki and I went to the local home improvement store on our own. Shaun knowing that this was inevitable should have seen this event happening, and should have warned me. He was there for the poison oak insanity. I think he must have been at home having a right good laugh about it.

Nikki and I needed a darker stain. Surprisingly we found it among the 5 billion items in the home improvement superstore. I found a rather smashing fire poker that I absolutely needed, but Nikki didn't see the sense in having one since we don't have a fireplace. Such small details really curtail the enjoyment that can be had at these massive stores. I digress.

This time it was Nikki and me behind the Witches Rock with an unknown plant/stain. The stain was very potent. It had an amazing similarity to the incident so many years previous. We picked up the poison oak, that is to say the stain and spread it around to all the needy furniture. We waited our 6 hours. It was just as wet as when it was first spread. At this moment, I felt a twitch where I shouldn't be feeling a twitch. I was flashing back to showing the doctor my problem and in for some sleepless nights.
The stain decided it wasn't going to dry for 72 hours. Shaun, why did you encourage this horrible adventure? I personally hold you responsible.

Next time you do something this horrible to me I'm going to steal your 2 boys and teach them a feat that will cause an outlet to spit fire.

I hope you are satisfied.
(This is the revised version of my original post at: http://merrillsandcoforever.blogspot.com/2008/04/stain.html)

What’s in a name?

2008-04-29T09:09:00.000-06:00

Creativity is a the noun referring to process of making something new. When this word is used in a general conversation (barring any blatant sarcasm), this seems to indicate that the innovation used to arrive at the end result was a good thing. There are so many sarcastic uses for this noun that I’ll let anyone who reads this decide how to travel that road seeing how those destinations won’t be addressed. Take the Robert Frost way if you must; however, I'll take my high road.

A name is a way to identify something. . . .pure and simple. Well, maybe not so simple.

I decided that I’d play on my given name to come up with the name of this blog. Obviously I’m Dave, and SunderPants is a my fantastical version of my last name. The spectacular awesomeness (this is my creative elementary use of awesome) of using these two names in a run together word is the name DaveSunderPants.

This is potentially the greatest blog name in the world. Who wouldn’t want to read about davesunderpants? This name is sure to lead everyone to envision the ‘fantastichisms’ that it exuberates. If this last statement didn’t register as pure literary gold, you’ll need to find the video to which I’m referring.

Happy reading.

Hello World

2008-04-29T08:44:00.001-06:00

As I've been taught in any programming class or book, you have to begin with 'Hello World'. This is the standard beginning for everything. From what I understand, there is a world treaty to which all nations which have more than one computer within its borders have signed. This treaty states that unless the obligatory 'Hello World' starts whatever computer based activity, you don't really exist. The consequences for omitting said text is that your fingers will be removed for science in Namibia. The scientists wear them as good luck necklaces and they sell for outrageous prices. According to the last report, this was about $0.001 per finger under current exchange rates.

To save myself from such problems in the future, this is my first post.

Whew, I can now sleep peacefully at night.